Dentist Office

If I have to tell one more person that I got my teeth knocked out by a golf ball....well........it is funny. I'd laugh.

Those poor dental assistants were so sweet today, but Im sure I made their Top 10 all time. The dentist was nonplussed. Im sure he's seen it all. Anyway, it was an interesting day.

Id rather clean toilets at a rest stop than go thru Dental hell. I had 5 people with their hands in my mouth at one time or another today. Am I a porn star? No, Im not equipped that way, but the taste of latex in your grill is so bad.

Of course I get the assistant that can't operate the little vacuum cleaner thing right. I nearly lost my tongue twice. You can't say anything because the dentist is in elbow deep in your mouth. Suck Suckerson. I really shouldn't complain, it only cost me $2180....I didn't even get a toothbrush. Hell, my kid gets a toothbrush. I should have gotten one gold plated for that kind of moolah.

At any rate, I no longer look like a rabid beaver. They did a great job. It feels a little funny, but that's ok. The new thing with dentistry is "Sedation Dentistry." Well, besides the invention of woman, this was up there. I get to my appt at 1215 and these nice ladies give me three pills. I scoff at these things. I don't sedate easily...and I tried to tell them. They were so confident Id pass out in my own drool, but it didnt happen. By 2, I was still very alert......so they just kept giving me these things. Nine total. Something called Tegretol....or something.

Well, nine did it. I has to be woken up in the dentists chair 2 hours later. They were like..."Mr. Chavis, are you OK?" My response was..."give me a pillow" I never knew what they were doing. They could have stripped me naked and took pictures (doubtful though) I woke up with a brand new set of toofers. It only took 5 hours to handle it.

Im very happy to be able to be seen in public again. I can't whistle as well as when I was a Clampett, but those are the breaks. No, unless you saw it yourself I did not take any pictures. Sorry.

Im really looking forward to this weekend......Im going to go see a movie tomorrow afternoon....then my favorite pastime (cold beer and something to read) Saturday, is football of course....and Im going to a big Chili cookoff Sunday. Man, Im going to tear it up.

My sadistic side wishes Bonnie was still around because Im going to raise the threat level to Orange after all that. Oh....I forgot. Poor Willie. Well, he farts on me all the time, so tough titty. The cookoff is at 11-4 and it's for a good cause. Check it out. Just don't stand close to me.

Love to all,

Dr. Clayton