Once upon a time.......

I am a giant. What I mean to say is that I stand nearly 9 feet tall and weight close to 700 pounds. I'm guessing that's bigger than you. Well, unlike you, I don't want to be noticed, no matter what.

I live atop a mountain. Yeah, all the cliche's are accurate. I live in a cave. I don't have central heat and air. Direct TV doesn't make it up here. Frankly, folks are so scared that I'm going to eat them, or whatever. My impression of people is simple. They fear what they don't understand.

It's also a misnomer that since I'm a giant, that I must be stupid. I let that go. If no one wants to get to know me, then they will never understand that I can read. I can write. I'm just really big, but I still get stares. Last year, some kids thought it would be funny to pull pranks on me. I didn't mind. Kids will be kids, but it would be really neat if I could be treated like everyone else.....but I'm not like everyone else.

Being a giant means certain stereotypes. First, we are all either crazy and bloodthirsty people that want to eat your children. The other is that I'm like Shrek. See what I mean. So, I don't venture down off my little hill very often. What's the point, no one likes me, and everyone is afraid of me. I've never done anything to anyone, but I feel the hatred. It's not a lot of fun. I'm lonely.

Today though, I've got a problem, which is going to lead me into town. I would rather just sit up here and be left alone, but town is where all the stuff is. Of course, my problems are a little different than most. Here's my problem. I have something stuck in my teeth. Unfortunately, dental floss doesn't do much for someone whose teeth weight about a pound per. So, what's a giant with steak in his teeth to do?

As I am walking down main street, my only goal is to keep my head down, and not step on any dogs, or cats. I really don't like cats, but my reputation is not so good anyway, so I take it easy on Sylvester, if I can.

"Hey, it's that giant, the one that lives in the cave up on the hill." "Yeah, don't stare at him, or he'll eat you." Can you believe that I have to hear that junk? Personally, I have never eaten a human, but it humors me of the ignorance of so many. I'm just really big....whatever.

I figured out my problem, so I'm headed to a store called "Hobby Lobby." I don't fit in at all. Little ol ladies are horrified. Moms break land speed records in order to get away from me. That's fine, I don't want to talk to anyone anyway.

I'm lost. My initial plan was to find some really thick thread, or yarn...whatever. I'm thinking this would be the best way for me to floss my teeth. I can't find anything except I've noticed that this is the place to buy candles and other crap for your house. I need help.

I look down.....there is a little girl staring up at me. Well, she was not a girl, she was a woman. Her name tag tells me that she works there, and her name is Leeann. Her eyes lock onto mine, and I'm a bit embarrassed. "Uh.....could you tell me where the thread is?" Her response was pretty witty. "Sir, are you planning on knitting something?"

She smiles. I smile. I now notice that she is not afraid of me at all. She looks into my eyes and has a confidence about her. She's also very pretty. Deep blue eyes, blonde hair that reaches her shoulders, and a smile that would melt an block of ice. I am in rarefied air. I am intimidated by this pretty girl.

Leeann asks me, "Why do you sit up on top of that hill in that cave?" "Do you think you are better than us?" "You should come down and visit."

I just shrug my shoulders, but Leeann has made me feel at ease, so I say, "Most folks think that I'm mean and will only hurt someone."

"Well, that's just ridiculous." "What's your name by the way?" "Everyone just calls you the "giant" that lives by himself inside a mountain."

"My name is Charlie." "Not Chuck, though."

"Well Charlie, let's get you some twine or whatever you need." Leeann is so nice. We venture over to the knitting section, and as expected, I cleared area in a hurry. Im looking for twine, not to eat someone's young. Morons.

Just about the time I'm slipping back into my funk of a mindset, there is Leeann. She reaches up and grabs my right hand. Her small hand was warm.....but delicate. I've never, ever had someone reach for my hand. "Come on big boy, how about this, will it do?"

I'm sweating like I stole something at his point. I'm so embarrassed. Thank heavens Leeann doesn't know I have a giant hunk of meat in my teeth. Strangely, I don't think she cares.

So, I'm headed for check out, but my new friend walking side by side. What do I say? "Uhh, thanks for your help, I really appreciate it Leeann." "I appreciate you treating me like a normal person."

"Charlie, you may be a giant and all, but that doesn't define you, or does it?" "Why don't you come out of that cave and come have dinner with me."

Holy crap, Leeann is asking me out. I have to say something, right? So, I take a great big breath, I lurch my shoulders back, and suck in my rather large stomach.....and say..........

"I'm gay."



The End