Thanksgiving

So, my family went in all directions over Thanksgiving. Emmamonster was staying with her Mom over the break, but I was fortunate to have very special friends (Chris and Jenny) that invited me over for dinner. I got more than I bargained for. I was expecting to just eat my weight and leave, but I found a new perspective for family and friends.

Of course, the most pressing thing was the awkwardness that comes when you are someone's house and are going through the introductions. For some reason, I feel so awful when this happens. I'm a very outgoing person naturally, but I equate introductions to an inquisition. "Hi, my name is Clay. Do you mind if I give you my life story before we sit down." It's just insecurity of course, but I do it every single time.

The first thing I noticed was how beautiful everyone's kids were. I just sat there gawking at these children that were all dressed up in their "Sunday" best, for just this occasion. My eyes were especially glued to this angelic little girl, whose name now escapes me. I mean, figure skating was on the TV, so "people watching" was what I was forced to do. You ever notice how sweet kids are when they are trying to integrate into the group? They slowly walk up and want to play....they have this sheepish look......they don't know what to say......finally, they get the courage and the next thing you know, they are breaking and tearing stuff up just like the other kids. It's a lot like dating....actually. But, I digress.

The entire time it was all I could muster not to tear up, because I was thinking about Emma. Emma was in Spartanburg with her cousins, but I wanted to be there....each kid that walked in front of me was a little older than the next. So, suddenly I was delving deep into my brain to remember Emma at 3, then at 5, then 7. My fondest Thanksgiving memory was when Emma was 4. Emma was really beginning to become chatty. I just remember her sitting on my stomach as we split some ice cream. "More, Daddy, quit eating all of it" I was inches from cracking up and crying a couple of times, but I knew I would have other opportunities to make an ass of myself...sure enough I did not disappoint.

Of course, you can't have a holiday without a few Griswald moments to go along. Speaking of which. "Christmas Vacation" has now officially replaced "A Christmas Story" as the movie to watch over the holidays. "Hey Clark, Shitter's full," says Uncle Eddie. That is just classic. Anyway, back to my Turkey day adventure. So, I was on my way to get my second helping of food when I made a big boo boo. I had somehow or another spilled something all over my lap. In addition, for the zillionth time, my fly was down. Why can't I remember something that most 3rd graders mastered while in Kingergarten. I think I'm just lazy when it comes to that, or I think that I am perpetually in pajama pants. How in the world did I get cranberry sauce on my pants....My entire purpose of the day was to get out alive. I should have prayed for not embarrassing myself while I was at it. No dice.

Well, I played it off pretty cool like, or so I thought. Slight of hand and all. As I am trying to clean myself out...while looking cool, I look up and yep, one of these cute little kids is looking at me like I was the boogeyman himself. It's bad enough that I wasn't family, but now I looked like a hobo with bladder issues. The little one took off in a Usain Bolt. I was terrified that I was going to have to explain my sheer lack of coordination to an angry parent that I just meant. Time to go, Clay.

Thanksgiving is not even near the top of the list of favorite holidays. I really didn't understand what it's all about. I mean, are we really celebrating pilgrims...Indians....whatever. I don't get it exactly. The part where we "give thanks" is where I get lost. I thought Thankgiving was the day before "Black Friday" As I stood in the middle of a room with mostly strangers, I finally figured it out. These folks are thankful for each other....for their family, their mothers, their cousins...it has nothing to do with the Cowboy game on the TV or the really good food we are about to devour.

My problem is that my family has divided into other families. My sister celebrates with her husband and his family. My daughter is with her mother and her family.....Nana even went out with some friends. My Dad has his family now. So, what's my family? I dunno. I've got Willie, but no one that shares my last name is stopping by. Why is that? My guess is that family's evolve.....and keep evolving.

I think I want more family. I miss it. Christmas is coming up and it's bittersweet.....sweet mostly, but you cannot have a holiday without thinking of those you have lost...and the ones you have, so I December is emotional, I guess. The good news is that the Monster will be here for a while and that's my present. Of course, she has ordered me to get a Xmas tree. I really was hoping I was through all the pageantry of Xmas, but when you have a 9 year old...forgeddaboutit.

It's not about being blessed more than others...It's not a race. It's not like Facebook where you can say.."Hey, I've got 229 friends." I just need one....thankfully.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.....see you soon.

Clayyyyyyyyyy