Monsteriffic...

**This is an article that I wrote for the "Echo" and I thought I would post it here...before it got edited**


Three boys out on the town on a Friday night, Chattanooga would not know what hit it. We were on a mission to find a good time, and that led us to a location very familiar to yours truly, “The McKenzie Arena.”
I am used to covering the Lady Mocs and their impressive run of ten straight championships, but tonight, McKenzie took on a different persona all together. The raucous crowds pulling for the UTC Women could not hold a candle to the teeth rattling, seat vibrating, deafening roar that made up the “2009 Thunder Nationals.”
That’s right, it was Monster Truck night on campus, and if you were like me, and forgot to bring your ear plugs, then you were left scrambling to come up with some way to ensure that your hearing would leave the building with you. To me, it felt like I was inside a bass drum, in an airplane hangar with several F-16’s about to take off.
Fortunately, my company was just as lost as I was. My good friend and local “weatherman,” Brian Smith was there, and he brought along his little brother Aaron. Lil Aaron is seven and Brian has been his “big brother” for a couple of years, and I have to tell you, Lil Aaron was so pumped to see this spectacle that he completely forgot that we had told him we were going to see a movie.
Side note here folks, the Big Brother/Big Sister program is one of the best ways to really give back to your community. In addition to giving the best weather prognostications around, Brian helps out with Boy Scouts of America and is very active with his church, and is just a sweetheart of a guy. ***I just earned some extra dough by saying all that. Brian’s parents pay well for their son to look good. Truth is, his wife Becca is the only thing that can make that guy look good, but I digress.
So, me, Lil Aaron, and my celebrity friend Brian are sitting around watching what happens when explosives, testosterone, and stupidity are all mixed and melded together in the form or a Monster truck. You have all seen them before. Huge tires taller than most NBA centers, and engines that just sound like they have a bad attitude. I mean, this is just plain meanness with a steering wheel.
As these giant leviathan’s trudge around the arena crushing mid-sized sedans that have now been sacrificed for our entertainment, I look over at Lil Aaron and see that he is entranced. For the first time that I can recall, Lil Aaron is not acting like a kangaroo on Red Bull. His eyes are glazed over as he watches the his favorite monster truck destroying everything it gets near.
Talk about irony, Lil Aaron is enthralled to see the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” monster truck crush and maim the cars that are their to be sacrificed. Yes, this truck’s body is shaped like a turtle. It defies gravity by jumping cars and is somehow able to not flip over (now, that would have been funny to see a turtle truck on its back, but it was not to be)
I would be ashamed of myself if I did not say that I was engrossed by a few other details besides the destruction and the ear drum rattling trucks with catchy names like: Raminator…..Rammination……The Grave Digger, and my favorite, Monster Masher.
All of this was cool, but the true entertainment was in the details. For example, $13 would get you cotton candy…and a hat shaped like a monster truck. How about a $11 snowcone in a commerative cup? Finally, for $18, you could get a poster of the truck of your choosing. How cool is that?
I could not help but wonder how many folks were in attendance that were “green.” Folks, the environment was taking one on the chin during this event. A thick, blue smoke sat a top of McKenzie Arena and just hung there. I was wondering if I was getting a little to much carbon monoxide for the sake of having a good time.
I looked over at Lil Aaron and knew what he thought. He was so happy to be watching this demolition derby on steroids that I had to stop thinking of my health and whether or not all the grass outside was dying. Bring on “Grave Digger!”