Zach Wamp and Xmas Shopping...

Bonnie and I ventured out into the bizarre and sometimes violent world of......Christmas shopping. First stop....Hamilton Place Mall.

220pm- Ok, this sucks. I have wasted $20 worth of gas driving around looking for a parking space and it's raining hard. It was so long ago when I dropped Bonnie off at the front entrance that she probably won't remember me when she sees me again. Some guy just cut me off and then waved at me, like I let him. I'm wondering how much bail would be for me to beat this guy senseless...Yay for Xmas!!!!

305pm- I don't know how much more I "time killing" I can do. I feel stupid. Bonnie is dealing with the herd's of women shopping in Dillard's. I can't go in there because it stinks. The combination of body odor and perfume is lethal....makes my gag reflex happen. uck

320pm- United States Congressman Zach Wamp just walked by me. I was about to say something to him (I'm a fan) but really didn't have anything prepared. What was strange about it was that either no one recognized or knew him, or just didn't care. This guy is basically the highest ranking elected official around here. Suddenly, the sad statistic comes to mind....only about 50% of our population vote.

350pm- We are out of here. It's raining even harder and traffic is lunacy. I feel like a fighter pilot. I pretend that I get to shoot sidewinder missiles and my machine guns everytime some car darts in front of me. So far, snoopy would be proud...I am the Red Baron.

355pm- Still in the Hamilton Place parking lot. Next stop, Books-A-Million...more like a thousand.

420- just spend 30 minutes in car for 1.1 mile. I wonder how long it would have taken us to have walked it instead. Nah, anyone dumb enough to walk around in this crap is just asking to be a hood ornament.

430- I love to give books for gifts. It's just my thing, I guess.. I like to pick a specific book for specific people. I try to match a person to a book....or if I know what they like, I might go with that theme. To me, books are collectibles. If you have bookcases and shelves and organized them like me, then you understand..if not, then you think Im a geek.

445- Man, there are a lot of books out about President elect Obama. I didn't know he'd done anything yet. Shouldn't a biography be written after someone does something...like be President. Think about all the folks that wrote stuff on "W" right after 9/11...whoops, there was more after that, huh?

500- Safely back home. We decided too skip several planned stops. It was getting too risky and Bonnie has a keen sense when I'm going to start cussing, so we bailed. If you want to see the true spirit of Christmas, go to a church or a party. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO TO A MALL!!! Here endeth the lesson.