Bad Movie Theatre Behavior...

As anyone knows, I love to go see movies. I have seen many a film by myself or with others. I love going to the movie theatre because for a couple of hours I can be alone and not be bothered. I would say I go see a movie or two a week.

I don't have a green thumb, so I don't do much yard work. I'm caught up with my classes, and if I don't have to work, I check out a flick. When Bonnie and I have "date night," it usually includes a cheap dinner and a movie. Last night, we went to the dollar theatre (actually $3 theatre now) to watch a movie called "Ghost Town." It was a pretty good flick. Im sure many of you have never heard of it, but it starred Ricky Gervais, Greg Kinnear, and Tea Leoni. It was a RomCom and that was fine.

Gervais is the guy that created the original "The Office," in England and now produces the current US version starring Steve Carell that is on NBC Thursday nights. He also did a little show on HBO called "Extras," which is a little known gem that will split your sides, especially if you like British Humor. Anyway, I will be reviewing it and "RocknRolla" (another English made movie) here soon, but I want to rant about stupid people in theatres.

I have only one rule. When the previews start, shut up!!! I know many people think that it's ok to regurgitate about their lives or whatever right up to the opening credits, but the previews are part of the movie for me. For example, the next Bond movie preview came on and of course Im stoked to see it. Two idiots behind me are chatting away at the size of the popcorn they got. "Hey dumbass, you asked for the large, what did you expect?" "Hey, have you ever been to a movie before?"

Bad movie behavior should be punishable by law. I think that our new President should do something about it. I'm "Joe the Movie Guy" and I want stricter rules. If you are one of those morons that keep getting lost in the plot "hey...what did that guy say?" or "hey....isn't she the girl from that other movie?" then the movie seat should act like a ejector seat in an F-16. Whoosh....right thru the roof you go.

My mom was the worlds worst at movie theatres, and I think that is where I get if from. She couldn't follow a muppet movie and I think she asked questions and bothered me just to be funny. She knew how much it bothered me, so she amused herself. She would do this with rentals as well.

Maybe, it was a familiar thing. My Papaw would just flat out start snoring during a movie. As soon as it got dark.....gone. I remember seeing a Clint Eastwood flick way back and I could'nt keep him awake. It was so embarassing. From what I gather, my grandmother told me he would conk out at church regularly too.

Also, if you are eating popcorn. Try not to pretend to be a holstein cow chewing cud. Jeez....close your mouth. If you cannot open the candy bag in a quiet fashion, then guess what, you're an idiot and should give your candy to me. You don't deserve it.

Finally, if you are that person that forgot to turn off their cell, you should recieve a lifetime ban. What is really frustrating is that some people will open them up and start talking. I guess the thought is....well, now that I have it, why don't I see what's up with the fellas. These are the people that I throw Sweet Tarts or Sprees at...hoping to cause a concussion.

So, next time you are at the theatre..be quiet when the previews come on...and stay that way. Chew with your mouth closed and turn your cell phone off.....or you might be ducking and airial (sp) assault of assorted candies from my row.

Chow..Clay