Stephanie reviews the Fall TV lineup........

There’s Only One October!
- Stephanie Shipp

Sorry, no, I am not talking about baseball. Although, I must say I am so relieved that this year's baseball playoff commercials do not have Dane Cook saying, "There's only one October!!" in his voice that makes me want to punch through my TV screen.

I am here to guest blog about the fall premiere shows that start in October (Ok, a few at the end of September). I do love TV shows, and trust me, I watch enough to be considered a subject in a teen violence research study (ah… the Media is the devil). However, I can not watch ALL of them, so I will be skipping some fall premieres. I cannot bring myself to watch Heroes or Desperate Housewives especially… maybe Bonnie can help. Plus, I need to make sure I leave time to feed my addiction for embarrassing displays of humanity, i.e. Reality TV.

ABC

Ugly Betty – Hi, My name is Stephanie and I love Lindsay Lohan celebrity gossip. I only watched Ugly Betty because I was interested to see LiLo’s performance. I watched a lot of it last year because it came on before Grey’s, but I was never really that intrigued. This season is starting off o.k. The season premiere brought a lot of change for the characters, took them out of their elements, and it had a pretty good plot. I don’t really care for this show though because it teeters between reality and…. Ummm that would never happen. So it kinda bothers me. It gets a C.

Grey’s Anatomy – Oh the love of my life, how you hurt me so. I live for Grey’s Anatomy… it is definitely at the top of my list. And I was like a kid at Christmas when I saw the commercials for the premiere. McDreamy/Patrick Dempsey might be killed in a car accident??? His ex-girlfriend is going to be pregnant with his baby?? But yet he asked Meredith, the real girlfriend, to marry him???!!! Then the show starts…. April fools!! Turns out the death was a dream and the pregnancy and marriage proposal were just the characters joking around. What the hell? So what was the premiere about, you may ask. Nothing. It gets a C-.

Pushing Daisies – This show is so unique. The writers really had something different the public had never seen before: a guy who can bring people back to life, but only for a certain length of them, can’t touch his girlfriend or she will die forever…. It’s really a lot of stuff to deal with. However, it just doesn’t work. If anyone watches this show you would know it’s CSI meets Dr. Seuss, and no one is interested in that. We don’t want magical murder mysteries solved. This is America… we want to see the blood, guts, and gore with scary serial killers and creeper stalkers. So Pushing Daisies gets an E for Effort.

Private Practice – I thought I wouldn’t like this show because it would be too much like Grey’s Anatomy with the outside drama being medical problems, and the inside drama being the crazy love triangles that exist amongst the characters. Well, that basically is the show as it turns out. But instead of the medical drama being a tree coming through the middle of a person because of a car wreck, it’s more of a couple wanting to get pregnant and come to find out they are brother and sister. So it is very different. And I think it’s a good show to watch. It gets a B+.
Cashmere Mafia – Sorry ladies, this show was canceled L Aw… I know, you were excited that something sort of maybe kind of resembled your memories of Sex and the City. Oh well, we got something better of it: another bangin’ star joining the cast of the best show that no one is watching. Which brings me too…

Dirty, Sexy, Money – The Holy Grail of the fall season!! Great cast, great plot, and great drama. You want to hate these people for ruling all of New York (well, it’s more jealousy). But then you LOVE them… you love their devious deceitful behavior. The season premiere was all it should be and more. It set the stage for the rest of the season, which is what a premiere should do. If you don’t watch this show now is the time to start. I promise it will not disappoint you. Dirty, Sexy, Money gets an A, duh.

Dancing with the Stars – Just shoot me. Just take a gun to my head and put me out of my misery. Why is everyone obsessed with this show? My best friend back home watches it; everyone I know watches it, and I am at a loss for words. I am not entertained by Kim Kardashian or some old lady with big boobs or football players trying to dance the mambo. They suck at it. And they aren’t even celebrities that I would care to see make fools of themselves. And the judges make me about as angry as Dane Cook saying, “There’s Only One October.” This show gets a big fat WTF as their grade.

NBC

Lipstick Jungle – Eh… this is ok. The premiere got me a little bit hooked, but the second week kinda let me down. I don’t think I will be continuing to watch this show. If it wasn’t for DVR I wouldn’t be watching it at all since it comes on at the same time as Dirty, Sexy, Money. I thought it was going to be a little Sex and the City-ish, but it’s more Desperate Housewives-ish with Brooke Shields and her poor display of acting skills. This show gets a D.

The Office – Where did this show go? It was “The Show” last year, and now I haven’t heard a word about it.

CW

Gossip Girl – Oh dear Lord. Just what we need: another O.C. Please TV God, make it stop. This show makes me hate my life for not being able to wake up in the morning looking like I just stepped out of Vogue Magazine. Please go away… F.

One Tree Hill – A nanny turned murderer? Huh? The CW is just never going to be the same again. Unless… ahem… bring back Gilmore Girls!

Reality

The Hills – I love watching Speidi as they continue their on-going efforts to make absolute certain that they rot in hell. The End. This show gets a C.

Paris Hilton’s My New BFF – I love this show almost as much as I loved “Flava Flav” or “A Shot at Love”. It’s just pure gold. How could you not love Paris ordering around a bunch of drama queens, making them dye their hair to her specifications, making them party until they puke and then not letting them retouch-up their makeup? It’s just wonderful. This show gets an A.

Hope you enjoyed Steph’s Fall Show Review. And now, as Paris would say to a BFF loser who didn’t make the cut, “TTYN bitches.”