The Russell Crowe Theory......

I was surfing last night and came upon "The Jay Leno Show." What struck my attention was the fact that Russell Crowe was promoting his newest film (Body of Lies) and his hair was really long. He really looked like a chick. As I was watching him talk in that thick Australian accent he has, he was twirling his hair...again like a chick. Wait...I twirl my hair.

Anyway, I normally do not listen to celebrities talk about anything remotely important. So, if I see Barbara Streisand, Rosie O'Donnell, or Brangelina spout off on politics or global warming, I shut down. I really do not care what these people say in general. They are great with soundbytes and no matter what they say, the studio audience cheers wildly. Yes, I get it. No War. Everyone should by a hybrid. The earth is melting. "W" is the antichrist. I understand.

Back to the girly looking Gladiator. Jay asked him what he thought of the current financial crisis here in states, in particular the potential trillion (with a T folks) bailout of Wall Street. My first reaction was something like...."This wuss lives in Australia, has a buzillion dollars, and has an accountant tell him how much money he has." However, the big guy made an interesting point. Albeit impossible, it made some sense.

Under the "Gladiator/Master and Commander Plan," Russell thinks every American...all 300 million of us recieve a million dollars free and clear. Under the "GMC Plan," this would increase spending and save the economy. Well, I can assure you that I would spend some serious coin if I got a check from Uncle Sam for a cool million. I think Bonnie would just buy the Galleria Mall in Birmingham and sleep on a cot next to Macy's. I'd drop out of school and see how long it would take me to play every 5 star golf course on the planet. I'm pretty sure that Emma would live like "Richie Rich." Hell, I'd buy her a new dog named "Dollar."

Ahh...to dream. The problem is that demand would exceed supply in about 30 seconds and we would be faced with a new kind of financial dilemma. Japanese industry would take over this country and I'd be eating rice and noodles for the rest of my days. Those same golf courses would be overrun by horrible golfers with bad etiquette and I'd have to wait in line. The new Bonnie Mall would run out of cool stuff pretty quick. Law enforcement and elected official would become even more corrupt...and we wouldn't care. So, I guess paying $4 for gas and wondering why I need to take out a loan to go to Bilo would make sense.

Times are hard people. I'm poor, you're poor, we're all poor. Perhaps, Mr. Crowe should just give us that 300 million himself. I mean, he gets 25 million per movie. Let's give him a city for himself for his troubles. How about Washington DC?

Take care...