Some things I can still do....but not as well.

Hello everyone. I wanted to get back to putting my thoughts on paper again, so please excuse the fact that I'm rusty and might not be able to be very clear.

Tonight was a milestone of sorts for me. I went roller skating with the Emmamonster and her friend Austin. Why is it a milestone? Well, although this occasion is not as dear as watching Emma take her first steps, it's still cool to do something with your kid for the first time. The problem is that I have not strapped wheels onto these footsies since circa 1986. I was not to be deterred by being a fatty, the blisters, or the fact that I was surrounded by kids flying by me at 60 mph. Emma needed to see her Daddy look cool, and I was bound to accomplish this feat.

Is it cool to end up ass over elbows with your t-shirt over your head flopping on the floor like a gasping fish? How about having your kid nearly snot herself from laughing so hard at you? How about crashing into a 14 year old young man and nearly decapitating an elderly couple enjoying a slow song? Yeah, I was the embodiment of cool. I was the "Fonz." James Bond on skates.

Tomorrow, Emma, Austin, and I are going to give bowling a shot. Yeah, for some reason it seems that to please my child, I must participate in some sort of activity that will make me look like a moron. Although it would seem that I have the perfect body (beer belly, bad clothes) for bowling, I do not have the gift to make the 3-10 split, or whatever it is called. It's the only sport that I know of that I don't even know how keep score. Thankfully, they have computers now that do it for you. I very seldomly mix math with pleasure. All that as it is, I find it so interesting to see Emma light up whenever she beats her old man at something. She spent three days last week telling everyone..."Hi, I'm Emma, I beat my Daddy at air hockey three times in a row!"

The really bizarre thing is that I don't mind taking a dive every now and then to make her happy. I am sure this is probably strange for some of you to understand, but there were no gimmies for me when I was growing up. It was the same for Stephanie as well. Although I was nearly 12 years older and twice her size, I would never let her win. Not one time.

**There has been some debate in recent years that Stephanie beat me in a game of horse at one point, but I don't recall it. Further, there are no witnesses available to back her story...and all video footage was taken by robbers. Thus, my career unbeaten streak still stands.**

My point is that I should have let Steph win...especially when she was 8. Emma really enjoys me wallow in defeat. I just want to give her a smackdown in UNO and then talk junk, but that's just not nice. Shoot, when I found out Emma's favorite color was friggin Orange and that she wanted to be a cheerleader, I was able to summon the strength and say...."Whatever makes you happy, baby." Honestly though, I was thinking about how much I would have liked to see her play ball or swing a tennis racquet. It would be cool to help teach her what I do know about sports, but my role might be all together different. BUT>>> I draw the line if she wants to be the mascot, and wants to go to Tennessee for college.

I've just got days till Emma goes back to South Carolina. I am not looking forward to that at all. If anyone wants to show pity on me and take me to a movie or lunch after August 8th, I will humbly accept all charity. ha.

Good night everyone.