First of all, USC is clearly the best team around, and it's not close. I must admit that I would love to see them play Florida in the BCS because the scoreboard would light up like the 4th of July.- Clay Chavis (9/24/2008)
Yeah, I said that. Even went on record and wrote it. That is the beauty of college football. It's the reason that I start watching at noon and am usually catching highlights at midnight. Just steer me towards the chicken wings and some cold beer and Ill worry about picking weeds on Sunday.
I have been pretty reserved all year in regards to my beloved Crimson Tide. The reason is because I have been disappointed year after year. I had just graduated high school the last time Bama was ranked #2 in the country. There have been several hopeful moments along the way, but probation, coaching stupidity, and the fact that the SEC has gotten so much better has kept Bama from ascending back to the perch it held for the most part of the latter half of the 20th Century. Now, regardless of how we do from here on out, Bama is back, and Im giddy about it.
Now, onto other things. USC and Florida both lost to teams that they should have spanked. LSU struggled with Mississippi State. UT and Auburn set back offensive football by 30 years. Finally, Georgia can put those "black out" jerseys in storage.
Here are some picks for this week and my current top 25.
Tennessee 35
Northern Illinois 7 (The real question is whether Neyland will be even close to full)
Auburn 13
Vanderbilt 7 (I'm sorry, but Vandy needs to beat a good team, not get lucky against a bad one)
Alabama 31 (Classical letdown game here. If you bet, take KU and the points)
Kentucky 17
Missouri 35
Nebraska 27
Miami 17
Florida State 14
Current Record (2-3)
Top 25
1- Oklahoma
2- Alabama
3- Missouri
4- LSU
5- Texas
6- Penn State
7- USC
8- Ohio State
9- Florida
10- BYU
11- South Florida
12- Georgia
13- Auburn
14- Kansas
15- Wisconsin
16- Texas Tech
17- Utah
18- Vanderbilt
19- Wake Forest
20- Georgia Tech
21- Arizona State
22- Notre Dame
23- Miami (Fla)
24- Fresno State
25- North Carolina
Thanks for reading. Roll Tide.
Kentucky 17
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Cool Hand Luke has passed away.
Paul Newman died yesterday. The first thing I thought about was that I have used many a line from Newman's movies in my daily lexicon.
"Everyone is blind Sundance, and Im wearing bifocals"- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
"Four Jacks Pal"- The Sting
"No man can eat 50 eggs"- Cool Hand Luke
"You don't leave much when you miss fat man"- The Hustler
Newman was the embodiment of cool. He IS the original Marlboro Man. Those blue eyes could melt molten steel and his presence on screen was undeniable.
In addition to being super pimp tight...he devoted much of his life to charity. All the proceeds from his "Newman's Own" salad dressings go directly to children related charities. After I found out this morning and relayed it to Bonnie, she wanted to know if his dressings would still be made...I certainly hope so. (The Creamy Caesar rocks!!)
Well, I know I can always look forward to seeing his great performances on TV regularly, but knowing that he will never make another movie deeply saddens me. There will never be another Paul Newman.
"Everyone is blind Sundance, and Im wearing bifocals"- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
"Four Jacks Pal"- The Sting
"No man can eat 50 eggs"- Cool Hand Luke
"You don't leave much when you miss fat man"- The Hustler
Newman was the embodiment of cool. He IS the original Marlboro Man. Those blue eyes could melt molten steel and his presence on screen was undeniable.
In addition to being super pimp tight...he devoted much of his life to charity. All the proceeds from his "Newman's Own" salad dressings go directly to children related charities. After I found out this morning and relayed it to Bonnie, she wanted to know if his dressings would still be made...I certainly hope so. (The Creamy Caesar rocks!!)
Well, I know I can always look forward to seeing his great performances on TV regularly, but knowing that he will never make another movie deeply saddens me. There will never be another Paul Newman.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Movie Review "Righteous Kill"
I have a man crush on both Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino so I was at the noon showing of Righteous Kill opening day. There was no stopping me. Here are two of the greatest actors of all time getting together in the same movie for just the third time. Trivia question, can you name the other two times these guys were in the same film together?....it's a trick question.
I mean, this was supposed to be like a heavyweight title fight, and not a couple of palookas that you see now. This is Ali/Frazier...Tyson/Holyfield...without the ear nibbling. Three Oscars between them...9 nominations. These guys litter my movie collection. The Godfather I and II. Goodfellas. Raging Bull. Taxi Driver. Glengarry Glen Ross. The Insider. Heat. Scent of a Woman. There is no way this could be bad right? Right???? Right?????
I would not call Righteous Kill a bad movie because it wasn't. Death Race was a bad movie, but I was disappointed just the same. "Kill" just didn't have much substance. I thought that the writing was weak and the plot was all over the place. Not to mention that I was completely lost for a little while towards the end of the movie. Of course the worse part was that both me and Bonnie had figured out the big twist after about 30 minutes. Hey, I can look at two hot chicks all day, but if they are stupid, Im gone. That's what it felt like....a couple of great actors standing around with no material. Even these two can't carry a movie if their are pot holes in the story line and poor character development.
Righteous Kill is your typical buddy cop flick. The story is about Pacino and DeNiro as tough as nails....tight as can be partners that become suspects in several vigilante killings. The victims are criminals that have avoided the long arm of the law because of bad police work, witnesses that have croaked, or whatever gets a murderer off the chopping block. Suddenly, these guys end up dead and all of them can be traced back to the Dream Team. **A side bar here. This formula for a movie has been done before. The best example I can think of is "The Star Chamber" which starred Micheal Douglas. I think it came out in 1986 or so. Rent it, it's pretty good.
Meanwhile, there are several subplots that go NOWHERE. Director Jon Avnet really should have just thrown the script out the window and allowed the pros to go to work. Some movies the actors can't act, some movies the plot is as boring as watching my toaster, some movies the special effects give you motion sickness (Speed Racer), but this one has to go to the director. In my opinion a director guides a movie down a specific path and has the sense to get out of the way. Avnet tried to get cute and failed miserably.
Brian Dennehy shows up as the venerable police Captain that uses the same ol lines and is every bit the stereotype. Donnie (brother of Mark) Wahlberg and John Leguizamo are great actors, but they are thrown only scraps and 50 Cent has a part in this, but it's wasted as well.
I might be being a little harsh regarding this film, but I gotta call it like I see it. If this movie starred lets say.....Samuel Jackson and Richard Gere, it would never gotten nearly as much pub and probably would have spent one week at the Big Theatre, then a week at the dollar theatre, then straight to DVD. This movie was average, so I will give it an average grade. C
I mean, this was supposed to be like a heavyweight title fight, and not a couple of palookas that you see now. This is Ali/Frazier...Tyson/Holyfield...without the ear nibbling. Three Oscars between them...9 nominations. These guys litter my movie collection. The Godfather I and II. Goodfellas. Raging Bull. Taxi Driver. Glengarry Glen Ross. The Insider. Heat. Scent of a Woman. There is no way this could be bad right? Right???? Right?????
I would not call Righteous Kill a bad movie because it wasn't. Death Race was a bad movie, but I was disappointed just the same. "Kill" just didn't have much substance. I thought that the writing was weak and the plot was all over the place. Not to mention that I was completely lost for a little while towards the end of the movie. Of course the worse part was that both me and Bonnie had figured out the big twist after about 30 minutes. Hey, I can look at two hot chicks all day, but if they are stupid, Im gone. That's what it felt like....a couple of great actors standing around with no material. Even these two can't carry a movie if their are pot holes in the story line and poor character development.
Righteous Kill is your typical buddy cop flick. The story is about Pacino and DeNiro as tough as nails....tight as can be partners that become suspects in several vigilante killings. The victims are criminals that have avoided the long arm of the law because of bad police work, witnesses that have croaked, or whatever gets a murderer off the chopping block. Suddenly, these guys end up dead and all of them can be traced back to the Dream Team. **A side bar here. This formula for a movie has been done before. The best example I can think of is "The Star Chamber" which starred Micheal Douglas. I think it came out in 1986 or so. Rent it, it's pretty good.
Meanwhile, there are several subplots that go NOWHERE. Director Jon Avnet really should have just thrown the script out the window and allowed the pros to go to work. Some movies the actors can't act, some movies the plot is as boring as watching my toaster, some movies the special effects give you motion sickness (Speed Racer), but this one has to go to the director. In my opinion a director guides a movie down a specific path and has the sense to get out of the way. Avnet tried to get cute and failed miserably.
Brian Dennehy shows up as the venerable police Captain that uses the same ol lines and is every bit the stereotype. Donnie (brother of Mark) Wahlberg and John Leguizamo are great actors, but they are thrown only scraps and 50 Cent has a part in this, but it's wasted as well.
I might be being a little harsh regarding this film, but I gotta call it like I see it. If this movie starred lets say.....Samuel Jackson and Richard Gere, it would never gotten nearly as much pub and probably would have spent one week at the Big Theatre, then a week at the dollar theatre, then straight to DVD. This movie was average, so I will give it an average grade. C
Top 25 (September 24 Edition)
Hello college football junkies. Im sorry that Im a little tardy on my weekly Top 25.(for those who care) A couple of things that I have noticed now that almost 1/3 of the season is gone. First of all, USC is clearly the best team around, and it's not close. I must admit that I would love to see them play Florida in the BCS because the scoreboard would light up like the 4th of July.
Tennessee stinks right now. I know, I know, Im a Bama guy and I'm biased, but anyone that watched that debacle on Saturday against the Gators could surmise that UT has problems in all three phases of the game. Now that they are 1-2, Coach Phat Fulmer is already on the hot seat and it won't get any easier when they travel to the Plains and play AuBarn (that's what us Bama fans call them, among other things) this Saturday. Im not sure UT's season could be salvaged if they go 1-3 with games against Bama, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi State, and a pretty darn good Vanderbilt team.
Im going to add something this week. Im going to select a few games and pick the winners and see how I do over the rest of the season. Let's start with the biggest game of the weekend.
Georgia 24
Alabama 17 (Bama's a year away from competing at a level the Dawgs have attained already)
Auburn 17
Tennessee 10 (The Barn's defense will be the toughest yet for the Vols and Crompton is shaky)
Florida 41
Ole Miss 20 (This one might be close for awhile, but the Gators will pull away)
LSU 31
Mississippi State 3 (Sorry Brian and Bonnie, but MSU can't score)
Wisconsin 35
Michigan 17 (I wonder if Rich Rodriquez wishes he was still playing Connecticut)
Now the Top 25..
1- USC
2- Florida
3- Oklahoma
4- Missouri
5- Georgia
6- LSU
7- Texas
8- Alabama
9- Wisconsin
10- Penn State
11- Ohio State
12- BYU
13- Kansas
14- Texas Tech
15- South Florida
16- Auburn
17- Utah
18- Illinois
19- Clemson
20- TCU
21- East Carolina
22- Vanderbilt (hey, I was the first one to put them in a Top 25)
23- TCU
24- Arizona State
25- Georgia Tech
Everyone have a great weekend. Ciao.
Tennessee stinks right now. I know, I know, Im a Bama guy and I'm biased, but anyone that watched that debacle on Saturday against the Gators could surmise that UT has problems in all three phases of the game. Now that they are 1-2, Coach Phat Fulmer is already on the hot seat and it won't get any easier when they travel to the Plains and play AuBarn (that's what us Bama fans call them, among other things) this Saturday. Im not sure UT's season could be salvaged if they go 1-3 with games against Bama, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi State, and a pretty darn good Vanderbilt team.
Im going to add something this week. Im going to select a few games and pick the winners and see how I do over the rest of the season. Let's start with the biggest game of the weekend.
Georgia 24
Alabama 17 (Bama's a year away from competing at a level the Dawgs have attained already)
Auburn 17
Tennessee 10 (The Barn's defense will be the toughest yet for the Vols and Crompton is shaky)
Florida 41
Ole Miss 20 (This one might be close for awhile, but the Gators will pull away)
LSU 31
Mississippi State 3 (Sorry Brian and Bonnie, but MSU can't score)
Wisconsin 35
Michigan 17 (I wonder if Rich Rodriquez wishes he was still playing Connecticut)
Now the Top 25..
1- USC
2- Florida
3- Oklahoma
4- Missouri
5- Georgia
6- LSU
7- Texas
8- Alabama
9- Wisconsin
10- Penn State
11- Ohio State
12- BYU
13- Kansas
14- Texas Tech
15- South Florida
16- Auburn
17- Utah
18- Illinois
19- Clemson
20- TCU
21- East Carolina
22- Vanderbilt (hey, I was the first one to put them in a Top 25)
23- TCU
24- Arizona State
25- Georgia Tech
Everyone have a great weekend. Ciao.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Not with a bang, but a whimper...
My grandmother called me Sunday morning to tell me that my cousin Lynn had died. Lynn is a 3rd cousin and I have not laid eyes upon her in more than 20 years. I was told that the most probable cause of death was an overdose of the medications that she was taking. I do not know what drugs she was taking or what they were for, but I know she died alone, and that is a shame.
As most families' have skeletons in closets and secrets by the truck load, I can not speak definetively as to what was cause of her excommunication from her family, as well as the extended family that includes me and my sister, but I can only guess that Lynn fell victim to a stigma that is very hard to ignore. Over the years, the bits and pieces that I had heard had her pegged as a lesbian and a drug addict. Either of those are not causes for someone to live as a pariah and be shunned at every turn. Just weeks ago Lynn's grandmother died and I heard for myself from someone close to her situation say that "It's best that she's not here." Personally, if I lost my grandmother, it would take a large battalion of Marines to keep me from paying my last respects, but I digress.
See, I feel that I have much in common with Lynn. She was mentally ill and I suffer from Bipolar Disorder and most people feel one way or another about mental illness. The first way is to believe that "it's all in your head," and that it is "just an excuse for bad behavior." My own father thinks that "it's all a bunch of bullshit," to use his quote ,when I once tried to explain what was going on in my life. He blamed the pills that I took and the symptoms of my illness on other people....like it was black magic. In truth, manic depression is real and according to webmd.com, over 2 million people suffer from bipolar disorder.
The symptoms are pretty straightforward. Anxiety, insomnia, panic attacks, and racing thoughts are very common. For me, the most debiliating symptom is the fact that I wake up every morning so nervous and anxious that I am sometimes out of breath. Insomnia is next. Most people who know me laugh when they get emails or whatever when it's 3am in the morning. People, it's not by choice that I am up, and more frustrating is the fact that I cannot do anything about it.
I do take drugs for my problems. Three to be exact. The first one (Trazodone) is to relieve depression and allow me to stay "even" throughout a day. The second is Klonopin. Klonopin is in the same family as Xanex or Valium. I take Klonopin up to three times a day depending on how bad I feel....or as I like to say, how bad my "spells" are. Finally, I take an anti-psychotic medication called Seroquel. Seroquel is basically synthetic Thorazine. It has one and only one function.....that is to knock me out so I can sleep. I take up to 600mg of Seroquel each night and I can assure you that that dosage would drop a horse or put a "normal" person to sleep for 24-48 hours. I have given a half of one of these to a couple of people complaining of not being able to sleep and after that...they didn't complain anymore.
My point is that mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder, panic attacks, post-partum depression are very real and are very hard to live with. These problems are part genetic and part learned behavior. For example, I am predisposed to mental illness. I know of at least 4 family members on just my mother's side that have suffered from problems ranging from alcoholism and manic depression to obsessive compulsive disorder. Mental illness is just like Cancer or heart disease when it comes to heredity. The question is, what makes someone predisposed to fall into mental illness.
According to two different psychiatrists that I have seen, the most common way to light the fuse is physical or verbal abuse as a child. The second way is the use of drugs and/or alcohol. The third is trauma, either physical or emotional. Not a difficult stretch for me to figure out what went wrong and when it happened.
The good news is that I take my medications EXACTLY as prescribed and see a professional to talk about my issues every few months. I believe that anyone can function normally as long as they are honest with themselves and get help. Although I will never be cured and will always have mood swings and bouts with my temper, I am able to concentrate and take care of myself whenever a black cloud arises.
So, next time you hear that someone "has that Bipolar thing," or that someone is crazy, try and understand that you might know someone very close that suffers from some sort of mental illness. It's no joke. More people suffer from Bipolar disorder than you think.
Take care.
As most families' have skeletons in closets and secrets by the truck load, I can not speak definetively as to what was cause of her excommunication from her family, as well as the extended family that includes me and my sister, but I can only guess that Lynn fell victim to a stigma that is very hard to ignore. Over the years, the bits and pieces that I had heard had her pegged as a lesbian and a drug addict. Either of those are not causes for someone to live as a pariah and be shunned at every turn. Just weeks ago Lynn's grandmother died and I heard for myself from someone close to her situation say that "It's best that she's not here." Personally, if I lost my grandmother, it would take a large battalion of Marines to keep me from paying my last respects, but I digress.
See, I feel that I have much in common with Lynn. She was mentally ill and I suffer from Bipolar Disorder and most people feel one way or another about mental illness. The first way is to believe that "it's all in your head," and that it is "just an excuse for bad behavior." My own father thinks that "it's all a bunch of bullshit," to use his quote ,when I once tried to explain what was going on in my life. He blamed the pills that I took and the symptoms of my illness on other people....like it was black magic. In truth, manic depression is real and according to webmd.com, over 2 million people suffer from bipolar disorder.
The symptoms are pretty straightforward. Anxiety, insomnia, panic attacks, and racing thoughts are very common. For me, the most debiliating symptom is the fact that I wake up every morning so nervous and anxious that I am sometimes out of breath. Insomnia is next. Most people who know me laugh when they get emails or whatever when it's 3am in the morning. People, it's not by choice that I am up, and more frustrating is the fact that I cannot do anything about it.
I do take drugs for my problems. Three to be exact. The first one (Trazodone) is to relieve depression and allow me to stay "even" throughout a day. The second is Klonopin. Klonopin is in the same family as Xanex or Valium. I take Klonopin up to three times a day depending on how bad I feel....or as I like to say, how bad my "spells" are. Finally, I take an anti-psychotic medication called Seroquel. Seroquel is basically synthetic Thorazine. It has one and only one function.....that is to knock me out so I can sleep. I take up to 600mg of Seroquel each night and I can assure you that that dosage would drop a horse or put a "normal" person to sleep for 24-48 hours. I have given a half of one of these to a couple of people complaining of not being able to sleep and after that...they didn't complain anymore.
My point is that mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder, panic attacks, post-partum depression are very real and are very hard to live with. These problems are part genetic and part learned behavior. For example, I am predisposed to mental illness. I know of at least 4 family members on just my mother's side that have suffered from problems ranging from alcoholism and manic depression to obsessive compulsive disorder. Mental illness is just like Cancer or heart disease when it comes to heredity. The question is, what makes someone predisposed to fall into mental illness.
According to two different psychiatrists that I have seen, the most common way to light the fuse is physical or verbal abuse as a child. The second way is the use of drugs and/or alcohol. The third is trauma, either physical or emotional. Not a difficult stretch for me to figure out what went wrong and when it happened.
The good news is that I take my medications EXACTLY as prescribed and see a professional to talk about my issues every few months. I believe that anyone can function normally as long as they are honest with themselves and get help. Although I will never be cured and will always have mood swings and bouts with my temper, I am able to concentrate and take care of myself whenever a black cloud arises.
So, next time you hear that someone "has that Bipolar thing," or that someone is crazy, try and understand that you might know someone very close that suffers from some sort of mental illness. It's no joke. More people suffer from Bipolar disorder than you think.
Take care.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Top 25 (September 14th edition)
Wow, is it finally clear that Ohio State just doesn't belong with the big boys. They got shellacked by 32 by USC. I watched Notre Dame beat Michigan which was kinda sad. How the mighty have fallen. I don't think either team would finish better than 10th out of 12 in the SEC. Georgia dodged a bullet against South Carolina. I'm sorry, but Georgia doesn't look that great to me at all.
1-USC
2- Florida
3-Oklahoma
4-Missouri ( I have them jumping Georgia and Ohio State)
5-Georgia
6-LSU
7- Texas
8-Auburn
9-Wisconsin
10- Penn State
11-Alabama
12-Ohio State
13- South Florida
14-East Carolina
15-BYU
16- Texas Tech
17- Kansas
18-Arizona State
19- Utah
20-Tennessee
21- Illinois
22-Oregon
23- TCU
24- Clemson
25- Vanderbilt
This week's big games are Georgia at Arizona State...and the annual Tennessee whipping from Florida.
Roll Tide.
1-USC
2- Florida
3-Oklahoma
4-Missouri ( I have them jumping Georgia and Ohio State)
5-Georgia
6-LSU
7- Texas
8-Auburn
9-Wisconsin
10- Penn State
11-Alabama
12-Ohio State
13- South Florida
14-East Carolina
15-BYU
16- Texas Tech
17- Kansas
18-Arizona State
19- Utah
20-Tennessee
21- Illinois
22-Oregon
23- TCU
24- Clemson
25- Vanderbilt
This week's big games are Georgia at Arizona State...and the annual Tennessee whipping from Florida.
Roll Tide.
Two guys at a Walmart..
This past Thursday, I found myself with a friend doing some shopping at a local Walmart, which leads me to this question. Have we all lost our minds???
After being accosted by the "greeter" and grabbing a shopping cart with only 3 wheels working correctly, I was confronted by the fact that this particular Walmart had more square footage than many small cities. I mean, I could not even see 25 feet in front of me because of the sea of people and dodging Coke displays that are strategically placed exactly where one would walk.
My friend and I had one mission. We needed to get olive oil and weightlifting gloves. I know what you are thinking, but the two purchases are not related. Shame on you. We were perplexed because these two items happened to be on opposite ends of this vast labyrinth. Of course we could have split up, but frankly I was scared that I might not make it out alive.
What are the qualifications for someone to operate one of those little motorized carts? I think that one must know left from right, and have eyesight, but that would be too much. I turned the corner and Dale Earnhardt's grandmother ran me down. Strange thing is that...I said "excuse me," and this grandma looked at me like I was stupid. Well, excuse me, I normally do not look out for elderly people trying to win Daytona when I go to Walmart.
Back to shopping, we dutifully collected the gloves and were headed towards the food area when I looked to my left and saw Walmart lingerie. How uncomfortable to see a pink leopard print thong while shopping with another guy? Do women ever buy fancy panties at Walmart? Anyway, I spotted some dude in the lingerie section with his wife/girlfriend, and I know he just wanted to die. If I was packing, I probably would have ended it for him.
Somehow, we picked up a huge pack of Beef Jerky and are in the beer aisle. Neither of us needed beer, but we were noticing which beers Walmart carried. I was like....Sam Adams Cherry Wheat still available for $9, wonder if they have St. Pauli Girl...nope. Oh well, moving on. My friend was hungry so why not Beef Jerky? I think we were both feeling a little girly, therefore lets buy some junk that makes us men spit.
Finally, we get to the check out area. We only have 3 items, so we are going to "self-checkout." What I saw next was really gross, but I couldn't take my eye off of her. Also in the "self checkout" was a woman who had my body type. Now everyone take that in..........got it???? Ok, now imagine big Clay wearing a size small tank top. That's the only way to describe it. Her belly was hanging out and I could tell she had a "outie" belly button. Couldn't she feel a draft or something? Funny thing was that whoever she was, letting it all hang out was just dandy. My friend and I are considering lasik surgery.
New Top 25 coming up. Thanks for reading.
After being accosted by the "greeter" and grabbing a shopping cart with only 3 wheels working correctly, I was confronted by the fact that this particular Walmart had more square footage than many small cities. I mean, I could not even see 25 feet in front of me because of the sea of people and dodging Coke displays that are strategically placed exactly where one would walk.
My friend and I had one mission. We needed to get olive oil and weightlifting gloves. I know what you are thinking, but the two purchases are not related. Shame on you. We were perplexed because these two items happened to be on opposite ends of this vast labyrinth. Of course we could have split up, but frankly I was scared that I might not make it out alive.
What are the qualifications for someone to operate one of those little motorized carts? I think that one must know left from right, and have eyesight, but that would be too much. I turned the corner and Dale Earnhardt's grandmother ran me down. Strange thing is that...I said "excuse me," and this grandma looked at me like I was stupid. Well, excuse me, I normally do not look out for elderly people trying to win Daytona when I go to Walmart.
Back to shopping, we dutifully collected the gloves and were headed towards the food area when I looked to my left and saw Walmart lingerie. How uncomfortable to see a pink leopard print thong while shopping with another guy? Do women ever buy fancy panties at Walmart? Anyway, I spotted some dude in the lingerie section with his wife/girlfriend, and I know he just wanted to die. If I was packing, I probably would have ended it for him.
Somehow, we picked up a huge pack of Beef Jerky and are in the beer aisle. Neither of us needed beer, but we were noticing which beers Walmart carried. I was like....Sam Adams Cherry Wheat still available for $9, wonder if they have St. Pauli Girl...nope. Oh well, moving on. My friend was hungry so why not Beef Jerky? I think we were both feeling a little girly, therefore lets buy some junk that makes us men spit.
Finally, we get to the check out area. We only have 3 items, so we are going to "self-checkout." What I saw next was really gross, but I couldn't take my eye off of her. Also in the "self checkout" was a woman who had my body type. Now everyone take that in..........got it???? Ok, now imagine big Clay wearing a size small tank top. That's the only way to describe it. Her belly was hanging out and I could tell she had a "outie" belly button. Couldn't she feel a draft or something? Funny thing was that whoever she was, letting it all hang out was just dandy. My friend and I are considering lasik surgery.
New Top 25 coming up. Thanks for reading.
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